you need ego to drive a car
epiphanote 2 - my relationship with myself, spinning down a snow hill, and funky instrumentals by mac demarco
Hi! Welcome to my weekly epiphanote where I share a mini epiphany, moments I’m grateful for, and what I consumed this week. Grateful to have you here! ✩
epiphany
I’ve been learning how to drive, and it hasn’t come easy to me. To give you an idea, my lessons started last summer.
It’s been frustrating to say the least. Give me a research paper and with a few hours of reading, GPT-ing, and brow furrowing I can crack it’s meaning. New song? I’ll learn the chords in an afternoon.
But this skill has not been easy to master. And I think I know why.
I’m thinking too much.
I have too little ego.
too thoughtful?
My instructor starts telling me a random story about his dog, and all of a sudden my tricky left turns are perfect. This is when I realize that driving is something you can only do, not think about.
The second you start thinking about the act of driving, you’ll suck. Just like if you’re thinking about what to say next, you’re probably not having a good conversation.
Being able to treat actions as just actions requires a state of being in the moment, whether it be in conversation or behind the wheel.
not egotistical enough.
I’ve always been taught that having ego is a negative trait. Be humble. Seek humility. Don’t overshare your achievements.
While I think these ideas are important, driving has taught me that there’s such thing as too little ego. If you don’t love yourself enough to believe you can do it, you won’t. You need a little bit of ego to trust in your abilities. You need a little bit of ego to drive your ideas forward…
Look, maybe these are excuses as to why I don’t have my G2 license yet, but I think they serve as useful reminders when tackling any new skill.
And mark my words, before spring, I will be on the road.
mundane moments
Sledding and smiling ear to ear as I fly down a snowy hill and fall on top of E in the process.
Eating sour wine gums with V while watching a recent trashy good Netflix series that came out this week. Hint: 🐈
The driver kindly asking me whether I’ve missed my stop as I wake up from my nap as the last bus rider. (I didn’t)
i consumed:
Currently reading: The Bee Sting by Paul Murray. This book, a 2023 Booker Prize Shortlist, was my attempt at reading outside of my comfort zone and depicts a dysfunctional Irish family living in a small town. It’s sparked many uncomfortable emotions but excited to see where the story leads!
Making maps that show time instead of space - video by Václav Volhejn. Although I don’t think I would use the time maps functionally, this unexpected YouTube recommendation challenged me to rethink the subtle flaws in tools I use every day. I also just love watching people make stuff.
I feel like we don’t talk enough about unique instrumental music. Like sure there’s good old Lofi, but what about alternative pop jazz beats that literally activate your neural pathways ?! For this very purpose, I wanted to share One Wayne G by Mac DeMarco, an almost nine hour album. It can serve as focus tunes, party ambiance, or calm background sounds. His music is so versatile it’s unbelievable.
Thank you so much for reading ashna’s journal! If there’s anything in this post that resonated with you, I always love to chat, so feel free to shoot me an email 💌 ashna.nirula72@gmail.com. Until next time!
Ashna